We mass produce a lot of junk. If you've ever wondered what the purpose of all this crap is, we're here to help.
Teddy Bear Picnic Relief for Back Crabs
Because we all have an itch that we can't scratch sometimes. And I don't mean for reasons related to saving face in public. You are so foul, readers. I mean because our arms are too short for our bodies. Hello! This BEAR CLAW scratcher is pretty freaking amazing. First of all it extends and then does the opposite of extending (damn if I can't think of what that word would be) so you can hide it in your pocket. It reaches like 22 inches. That means it is good for people up to 8 feet tall. It's science and design and engineering that makes stuff like this possible. Every itch you could possibly have (with the exception of the ones you don't want to share with the public) is like… relievable. Hey ROLAIDS, relief is spelled b-e-a-r-c-l-a-w.
p.s. I don't know what the title of this post means but just go with it.