Put a Million of Me Back Together

Because when I want to decorate my mantle, I want people to know I like eggs and Humpty Dumpty, and I like my Humpty Dumpty to be suave. This guy isn't going to fall down. Is it me or is he like Jack Lemon meets Dracula?

Finally, an Easier Way to Crack Open Eggs!

Because we like pastries here in the US of A! And it's very difficult to make a good pastry without eggs, no matter what your vegan coworker says. She's anti-brownie but you don't have to be! Vegans are destroying the planet with their anti-egg crazy... but that's another story. Here's the thing: cracking eggs is nearly impossible. You have to like drop an egg on the floor to get that sucker to break. Once you finally get through that thick shell you're confronted with all kinds of hazards. It takes a near genius to figure out how to crack an egg without getting a piece of shell in the yolk. You know how many cake mixes I had to toss because of a piece of eggshell? Like two of them! It's ridiculous! Don't even start me on separating the white out. Thank Hey Zeus that the EZCracker has a special attachment that will do that for you. Now even your aunt with the giant man hands will be able to crack an egg easily. This thing was a long time coming.

Easter Means Lots of Candy in Plastic Stuff

Because it's almost Easter and one of the holiest things about Easter is all the candy that you can eat. Like those Cadbury egg things. Man those things are good. If I had enough of these containers I could stock up on a year supply. Because Cadbury is stingy with those eggs...jerks.