Wednesday

Magic Balls on the Loose at the Local Drug Store!

Because it's time for the masses to utilize the power of floating silver balls. There is a saying in the world of magic: "If the general public ever finds out how to make silver balls float then we'll all be out of jobs." There's also a saying in physics, "If the general public ever finds out what we don't know what makes silver balls float then we're out of jobs." Well, guess what? It's happening RIGHT NOW. People, this is your chance to ruin David Copperfield and Stephen Hawking simultaneously! Those megalomaniacs thought they could keep the truth from us. Ha! I went down to the drug store and found a magic floating ball in all of three minutes! Right there in broad daylight! Truth time: Hawking has NO IDEA how it works. This ball is REAL MAGIC. Not that wimpy "I'm moving the Statue of Liberty Magic." And the box says it's new(!) too. So you'll be getting a fresh ball, not a used one.

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