Sunday

Your Great Aunt Would Still Be Alive If You'd Got Her This... You're Awful

Because the FDA doesn't know squat about living your life to the fullest or what "may" give you endurance, etc. You don't need anyone other than yourself and this bracelet to help you prevent any disease or diagnose any disease (unless you believe in "doctors" and that whacky stuff called "medicine.") Basically you wear this thing and everything wrong with you just goes away including no-good husbands. And you become a runner... don't ask why, it just happens. You start wanting to run all over. This thing is made of silicone and stainless steal, substances that were just meant to be paired together. You're a fool if you think you need diet and exercise to feel better than this adjustable bracelet will leave you feeling. A FOOL!

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